citrus_medica

Have you ever wondered what you would do to frighten Lazarus after he'd been raised from the dead? What would you do to threaten him? Lazarus, I'm gonna kill you?

Caligula says, 'I'm going to kill you.'

He says, 'Ha, ha, ha.'

He says 'Stop ha, ha, ha-ing. I'm going to kill you as I'm killing all the Christians.'

He doubles over in uncontrollable laughter, comes up for air and says, 'Caligula haven't you heard? Death is dead! Death is dead!'

How do you frighten somebody who's already been there and knows the one who's going to let him out?

- Ravi Zacharias, via Denise who got it from, to quote her, Sam Leeeeees.

 I KNOW WHY MY SWEATERS ALL BECAME FURRY :( my maid didn't read washing instructions haaaai and i forgot to remind her. supposed to wash inside out! arrgghhhh am so sad, my pretty sweaters are so gross looking now because of all the furry/hairy/whatever things.


ARGHHHHHHHHH hate this feeling.


D: D: D: D: D:

 packing, is driving me NUTS.
zomg i have the ultra huge luggage and i have no idea how i will eventiually squeeze everything in because uhhh i've only packed three quarters (maybe less) the stuff needed, and it's already full. and its a damn huge fatass luggage okay :(

anyway my family might be traaaaining to changi airport, gosh! i think my parents have weird ways of trying to save money, but okay this is one of them! so embarrassing, i will have this superhuge luggage with me!! have no idea how i managed to squeeze my stuff in last year end, but i guess i am now weaaker and last year i froze so this year i am trying not to freeze! ><
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i will ignore their judging eyes, they don't understand what they see even though they think they do. people who don't understand, and probably never did try to understand ughhhh why is it only so clear now?
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hi stop misunderstanding misinterpretating misreading everything. i am not who you think i am, not such a fake ass bitch yet k thanks bye. stop thinking the worst of me, it's precisely what that i can't stand most.
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( this might not interest you, and you might find fault in what i like reading but okay, just for me to remember! )

okay i wanted to blog more omg but SLEEPYYYY haha shucks and i am so behind in my to-do-list before i fly :( alright gotta save my eyebags think i might sleep now!! goodnight world :)

Okay, so drill test's over (and hopefully I don't have to take one anymore PLEASE GOD) and Christmas is coming let's all look forward to Christmas!

I hope it won't be as boring as last year's.

P.S. Yunxi, I don't believe you wrote that status update. Maybe she's feeling deprived :( Say hi to Dodo for me, will you, and bring it to uncle's house on Friday if you can so that I can spend some quality time with it, thanks ♥

going off in a short while to take the h1n1 jab, so this will be a quick post!!

#1 yesterday was full of ups and downs, argh idk i hate being so confused and switching my decision from this to that within such a short period of time. i don't know, i really don't :(
#2 but anyway haha i walked from orchard road to uhhhhhh redhill mrt station yesterday!!!:D just walked and walked while thinking, didn't feel like going home yet and i was kinda cold in the shopping malls and sick of the huge crowds so i decided to just WALK. so walk walk walk and wow singapore is so small i totally didnt know where i was going but i eventually came to great world city and walked more, finally decided to make a turn at ganges avenue because it sounded familiar (i was getting tired and wanted to know where the hell i was) and then from bus stop i decided to walk down alexandra road and eventually hit redhill mrt! so wow, singapore is actually really quite small!O: i wanna do this again sometime :D wanted to walk further but ohwell.
#3 today i got new specs! like, finally. i don't realy like it, but ohwell it's cheap so alright. found pretty pretty specs at other palces but they were like about $300 in total? but it was a really really really pretty and unique pink omg. like super pretty i can't even describe it :/ but this place is uhhh some place that's owned by my aunt's friend, so okay lorrrr i will get cheap specs beacuse i am a good girl like that :D on;y $128 in the end! my brother's was better, it was like $100! alright but it makes my face look fat but NEHMIND i will just (still) wear contacts regularly then.
#4 hello i hate going out with my parents, like really today reminded me of the days prior to the past few weeks of false happiness. i can't really explain it, because some things just can't be said which kinda sucks i want to tell someone so badly, to let them understand but ah i just can't. don't we all have things like that huhhhh, secrets all over the world ugh people will never ever understand each other enough :(
#5 okay but one good thing is that i got two pendants from goldheart today! so pretty, totally love them yay i have good taste :D then again my mummy's just weirdddd she has this whole collection of jewellery and she never ever wears them because she's scared they'll be damaged/ lost/ whatever. and she doesn't let me wear them either because she thinks i'll lose it. which is DUMB, like we wear it once in a blue moon i think she wears only every cny errrr and she doesn't even repeat the pendants/ earrings she wears which means she wears them probably once every 50 years. so dumb >< aren't stuff like these bought to be worn, not kept! like the point of it is to wear it and be happy about it (and wear it till you like, get the money's worth) and not keep it in your wardrobe forever right ><
okay am just annoyed. and i want to wear my pendants!! so silly to spend so much money to keep them lockedd in a wardrobe, she seriously has this whole collection (including pendants that are MINEEEE), each of which has only seen light like er at max twice or thrice in their lifetime. rawr! stupid parents and this no-trust in me thing, they don;'t get it that i am not as careless as them (they're always losing their wallet/ handphone/ dropping bracelets here and there) and definitely not as forgetful. FIGHT THEM.
#6 okay tmrw i am going to get myself hopefully two, otherwise one pair of shoes and maybe boots and uhhhhh hopefully my zara clothes! apparently my mummy's been fighting with my daddy for it, she likes them too haha ><
#7 no x'mas cards this year beacuse i suck and i couldn't find time for writing good cards to friends. lousy me!
#8 forgot to mention, i changed my userpics! i like them yay :)
#9 ohhhh been checking the weather for the places i;m going to, and OMG i swear i am going to freeze there! today my dad showed me some newspaper article about people dying from the cold all over europe so sad :( anyway like the temperatures are all subzero and like some places it's less than minus 10 degrees. save me omg omg omg my body is so weak now that i can't even stand aircon, what more freezer temperature!!
#10 oaky and since people have been asking and i never ever know, i finally know the places i'm going to!!
first i'll stop by shanghaiiiii for a city tour for one day >< okay then off to frankfurt and dresden (germany) and uh prague (czech republic) then krakow (poland) then eastern slovakia and budapest (hungary) then vienna, salzburg and innsbruck (austria). gosh i think i might faint from the fatigue O: anyway i hate tour groups, i hate the befriending other people part hahahaha okay maybe i will befriend a pretty girl our age there, pray pray pray i do! the itinerary sounds crazy, and its all castles and uh idk historic buildings etc, hope they will be pretty!:/

I AM JUST AFRAID OF THE COLD.
okay, time to go off for the jab byebye!

In a few minutes, I'll be on a plane to the "smallest Asian country in both population and area", also the lowest country on the planet - Maldives.

And, I didn't manage to buy slide film ): ): ): ): ):!!!!! So no film photos this trip. ):

Am gonna make the best of this trip though, undone to-do list and all!

 i hate hate hate hate hate it now everything just feels so damn wrong okay?

i'm supposed to stop swearing omg but i swore today (VALID REASON, ELAB LATER) and i feel like swearing alot right now.

alwight swore because when i was walking along orchard road some stupid ass did some foam prank crap, so i had foam below my knee area ughhhhh so annoying, seriously the first thought that entered my head was "what a fucker" it's damn GROSS i hope it's clean foam at least, it was just white and i didn't dare touch it till i got to the toilet, and by then it already dried :( yucks yucks yucks so grossssssss i hate stupid asses like that. thankfully it wasn't that much, though i already got the bulk of it since it was right next to me, compared to some people abit further away/ next to me. RAWR.

lousy day today with last minute change of plans and just, idk lots of unhappiness. night got abit better i think and yet also abit worse, for different reasons. idk i hate the feeling when i'm smiling and laughing outside but i am not inside. not that i am being fake, when i laugh i really think whatever i laugh at is funny, but i just feel super weighed down inside. like if my body was the sky, it'll be filled with grey, heavy clouds possibly even pouring with rain. like just UNHAPPY alright, the kind of mood if you left me alone in a corner for awhile i could start crying but i can't because i don't get that kind of alone time.

anyway i wanna swear again i realised i have damn (AND I MEAN DAMN DAMN, NO JOKE) alot of/ bad scars on my arms and thighs now because i couldn't stop scratching them when they ewre peeling! i swear it was unbearable, like seriously i wanted to dieeeeeeee i kept whining and it caused me great inconvenience in osaka :( like i couldn't enjoy some of the attractions properly because when it started itching, i was pretty much gone from the world just absorbed in scratching and scratching. but yeah and now the scars are damn bad omggg kill me :(

i hate my life, so badly haha fk someone just kill me now. the shopping isn't helping anymore. not for long, anyways.

just leave me alone forever alright and stop doing this!!! ARGHHHHHHH.

on second thoughts, please don't :(

While recommending to Alina and re-watching my favourite Disney music videos, I discovered this! I can't believe I've never seen it before.



The music's so, so good... Anyone has the Tarzan soundtrack? (EDIT: okay gayle has! yaaaay :D)

I might actually want to do this as a career except you need crazy talent and this is Singapore ): And actually there are so many other things I want to do to change the world.

On that note, today someone told me my perspectives are "still very sweet and innocent" (he meant well). Instinctively I reflected a bit and asked myself whether that was a bad thing, something to grow out of as quickly as I can. But I think I agree with Siewlee's conviction that "our youthful desire to change the world is truly of God, and the passionate and zealous individual we dreamt of becoming in our youth is the real us", and the process of "growing up" shouldn't be allowed to steal that from us, though of course maturity and experience (as opposed to ignorance/naivety) remain things to value & work towards.

Aiyoh my brainless post turned reflective. To round off a week in which I've been blessed mind-blowingly by the people around me, today has generally been a Good Day, and I got a facebook message that made my heart sing. I really love how it ends a great week on a very fitting note (:

( confessions of a shopaholic :( don't read, might be too bimbo for your eyes. )

DAMN SLEEPY :(
which is srsly weird considering i slept 9hours last night and took a 3h nap just now.

omg was supposed to do so many things today looks like its not happening :(

EH i just spent like 1hour plus watching some documentary on the tsunami in 2004 ): damn sad, it actually makes me quite afraid of death :/ like everytime i say i wanna die i don't want to die in such a devastating, scary way. not the kind that you have to suffer and know that you are dying, or smth :(

and omg i got sucked into the world of online shopping again hahahaha damnzx hello tan weiting and natalie ong this is all your fault!!!! but i kind of am happy to be dragged in, somewhat. i hope i get my items!!:D

ah whatever crappy post i blog proper post tmrw:)

My right ankle hurts like crazy. And I found out that I have really bad balance I hope I don't topple over on the day itself :(

Maybe I should go meditate and gain Inner Peace, yes? Or maybe yoga or ballet or acrobatics! Acrobatics sounds fun.

friday (which is kinda tomorrow) is my mummy's birthday haha and i wanted to give her something, since it's her 50th! okay she might just kill me for announcing her age on my blog, but whatever.

but anyway I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO GIVE HER ): she has too many necklaces bracelets rings bags shoes clothes, more than she ever needs oh gosh. sucks to have a shopaholic mother, honestly she doesn't need anything. her bag contains an average of about 4 to 5 wallets (don't ask why!) so she doesn't need any wallets either, i guess. nor watches, she only uses one but i know she has about like 4 that are new and unused (and which i rejected because i don't wear watches) so honestly, THERE IS NOTHING. she doesn't wear earrings either, if my sis tugs at them her ears might just be gone :/

haha, was never in the habit of giving presents anyway. not in my family nono. i haven't got a proper birthday present probably since mid-primary school, around p3 i think! don't even think i got one eachyear, it was liek a rare thing. oh well celebrating birthdays are just not really our thing i guess! i remember how i made my brother something in upp pri/ lower sec? can't rmb. and he threw it at me :( sucks to him hahahahahaha lousy boy who broke my heart.

anyway, trip wasn't as bad as i expected, but it wasn't v fantabulous either! probably more about it in detail tmrw haha am really quite tired, spent like 1.5hours on the phone with dear twitty who is flying off tmrw, just as i get back!:( tanyc, are you flying off tmrw too :( :( :( i vaguely remembered so! TONG i know you are! so many people flying tmrw haha so interesting to meet people i think, i didn't meet anyone at all :(

pretty random, but lip balm has just been added onto my TO-GET list haha. i miraculously managed to lose both lip balms i brought to osaka, one at universal studios (MEL/ BARN ITS THE BODYSHOP ONE) and the other at the airport. fantasticccc my lips are dying, like seriously all peeled and hurting ttm haha maybe styaing in sunny s'pore is the best, bintan killed my skin (which is still dead, literally. i've been scratching at my arms and thighs forever and it never stops peeling) and osaka killed my lips. what next omg.

I AM FLYING AGAIN ONE WEEK FROM NOW. hi i think holidays turn you into a social recluse since it pretty much disconnects you from the world especially if your stupid 6 star hotel charges internet at 24 bucks per hour. what a scam. and they didn't have good tv channels at allllll and we had to pay for movies. hello! totally just trying to rip money off the rich people please D: which does not include me, gosh i love watching japanese girls they had total hot legs all walking around in their tights and stockings and what not. and everyone who stayed at the ritz looked damn classy and omg we just looked like crap hahahahhahaha becuase we obviously don't have their kind of fabulous coats and skirts and boots and what not. see this is why i wanna live in a four-season country, so exciting to have nice clothes for each season! and then you don't need to look fugly when you travel to other countries, because you'll have suitable nice clothes for whatever season they're experiencing. i just wore jeans and long sleeve shirts/ sweaters all the time haha omg so uncool compared to everyone there D:

AND IT WAS FREAKING COLD. compared to what we expected, which was about 12-13 degrees. apparently while we were there it was colder, like today it was 5 degrees and the past few days around there too? highest about 8 degrees. strong winds though, and i had not a single piece of wool on me, they were all cotton/ acrylic hahahahaha terrible. but i survived pretty well! better than my mummy who had three layers of wool and was still cold ><

seems like i have already started to blog about osaka even though it was supposed to be for tmrw. wanted to blog about completely different issues today, but maybe not! i drafted it all out in my head on the plane but i've forgotten already ): some of what i wanted to say.

but for the rest-

( thoughts at 3.30am in the morning, obviously not an important read so don't bother! )

Yesterday - HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIYI! ARSES outing at Sentosa, faillll because we had no balls, no cards, no picnic mat, and then it started raining. Ended up playing bridge in a not-so-secluded corner reminiscent of orientation times, not in a good way. We were so bored at one point we took the tram around the island in a loop. But awesome company ♥ And I finally got my 18th birthday present ... when my 19th birthday is in slightly over a month's time (Y) efficiency at its best LOL. Dinner @ Thai Express but I left early ):

Today - Watched New Moon. HAHAHHAHA. Cheesy ttm, and I still think Robert Pattinson is ugly. If not uglier than in Twilight.

NEED TO FINISH UNI APPS ASAP !!!! PROCRASTINATION HAS REACHED NEW HEIGHTS.

omg i seriously sound like a bimbo but,
I'M DAMN WORRIED ABOUT MY ZARA/ MANGO BLOUSES HAHAHAHA.

Shucks tanyc, what if they're all gone by the time i return!:( i will be damn depressed, esp the serena one! And the nice white flowy one zomg :( okay and the mandarin collar. Omg. Actually, just all of them! Even the pretty highwaisted skirt! The mother already approves of the prices, i just need the daddy to make a trip down to town with me!!:(

OMG, I REALLY AM DAMN WORRIED HELLO :( i hope no one goes shopping, damnzx. Hahahaha i hope singapore hits a recession for the next week or so while i'm away heehee.

alright at the airport with parents and we have concluded that i need a rich boy :( i think i need to stop wishing for one haha, otherwise i will never get one, right!!:(

my sister's breaking my heart :(
She's been making a huge fuss all day and creating lots of trouble for us and suddenly in the midst or our busy packing she started tearing while hugging my mummy :(

that started me crying too, (think: fk my cheeks are dying) it's like she sees us all dressed up with packed luggages and all and she understands, understands that we're leaving her yet again.

Yet again.

Hai, seriously my heart aches for her, idk sometimes, like times in my life like right now, it feels like she's my reason to live. Not anyone else, but her.

It's like everytime i watch her cry i can't help but cry too, and there's this weirdest feeling in my heart. Okay see this is the kind of time i wish i could express myself better, but i can't :(

Nevermind, it's enough for me to know, ya :)

Alright goodbye friends, i'll miss you all. As always.

And anyway damnzx i'm still super giddy ghafdghtyhfghjaytsgdvgzdsrtewqw

#159

There's actually a reason for my title, and the reason being tomorrow's the match against Arsenal, and Arsenal -> Gunners -> flames, and You'll Never Walk Alone, and all that jazz.

See, even my icon matches.

Come to think of it, it's time to hunt for new icons.

Out of sheer curiosity, I went to do the Colorwize test, and sad to say, I do not trust it much. Mostly because I'm pretty sure I hardly picked the icky yellowgreen colour, and they ranked it my second favourite colour. I don't even get credited with taste nowadays >: See cut for the Top 40 Jobs Countup, plus a short critique:

( presenting... a list )

I have a post-trip thoughts post due, which I will do when I'm bored enough to sit down and collect my thoughts before churning them out in cryptic statements, something you all know I love to do.

leaving soon won't be back till wednight/thursmorn (midnight) don't sms please! i have no autoroaming, so i can't receive msgs which kinda suckssss zomg so if you send i might never ever get it like uh only some will be sent to me when i return to s'pore. suckerrrrszx.

mail me instead if you want haha i'm praying that internet fees won't be too ex/ i won't be too shagged, then again it's ritz carlton and everything is expensive there right :(

okay totally feeling like crap now, having damn bad giddy spells i keep holding things and dropping them and blacking out haha so uncute a few hours before your flight :( stupid, stupid me ughh fking annoying.

i can't even think straight omg. what a mad day.
hello i hate hate hate going overseas, why doesn't anyone get it? everyone keeps saying i don't know how lucky i am/ exclaim about how it's damn fun/ whatever, but no one understands hahahaha i may joke about it laugh smile whatever but honestly there's nothing within me except dread and frustration.

okay but that's because people never ever know about the full story, huh. because each person, each family has too many secrets kept and they are things you can;t tell other people about.

rawr bye friends have fun in nice sunny singapore while i try to enjoy the next five days or so with the parents.
yeah, right.

face is stinging, i swear the pain is crazily unbearable. been feeling like my face's on fire for the past few days, and omg does it hurt or what.

the raw skin underneath the dead skin stings like mad, and it hurts especially badly when it touches water. like when i shower i kinda wanna scream, so bad.

i guess that's probably why crying hurts so badly as well.

flying tmrw so don't contact me, i have no autoroaming since the parents don't want me to msg while overseas ><

won't be back till wednesday i think, hai. am damn shagged from everything, i just wanna hibernate (and peel) for the next 3 days or something.

super tired arghhhhh haha but yes i dragged myself out to meet tanchingching today after a very hectic morning + lunch, simply because we decided if we didn't meet now the next time we'd meet is january.

SO YEAH. i sacrificed the pain of showing my fugly face to the world and caught this crazy 1hour bus ride (that gave me terrible buttache) to town to meet her haha. she kinda trumped luggage packing + trip planning + lots of other things that i had to settle before leaving but ohwell, it was a worthy day out haha found lots of pretty blouses goodness, it hink i'm gonna spend half a thousand on shopping for pretty officewear!!:D but that shall be when i return, i pray the blouses will still be there :( we shopped for a pretty short while and settled at starbucks because we got tired hahahaha so lacking in stamina, really.

i realised that i have no comfy shoes to wear overseas. damnzx, i really need nice pretty loafers :(

grrrr life these days have been quite terrible, frankly. my skin's been either hurting or itching like maddddd and i'm juts too tired. freak my parents and ttheir last minute notices of trips, really :(

too many things to do and none settled, arghhhhh >< anyway have i mentioned? PEELING commenced today, i look and feel like some fugly scaly reptile ughhh.

okay so many things i have yet to blog about hai :( whateverzx, life sucks now anyway right haha.